Mr and Mrs Nolan have lived at 83 Accacia Avenue for the best part of fifty years, and during that time it is fair to say that they have become true pillars of the community.

Mrs Nolan is an active member of both the Women's Institute and the local Conservative Association. A keen Daily Mail reader, she maintains a keen interest in current affairs, and is a plain spoken critic of politial correctness. She also runs one of the best soup kitchens in the city. In between coming and going, the transients who frequent it often say so.

Mr Nolan, now retired, is as popular a character as his wife. When not chatting over the fence of his allotment or tinkering in his shed, he is often to be found holding court in the Golf club bar. He is famous for his repertoire of funny stories. Although the stories themselves haven't changed much over the years, the heros have. They used to be Blacks. Then they were Pakistanis. At the moment, they're Muslims.

He is a wag.

But although Mr and Mrs Nolan may seem the perfect couple, they have their cross to bear. Not that they see their son Michael that way. It is just that he is special. It's true that he doesn't have the sort of cleverness which has brought so much misery to the world, but he does have a good heart and a genuine affection for those around him. That has always been enough for Mr and Mrs Nolan, and if it isn't good enough for the world then the world can (pardon their french) go to hell.

It's just a shame that Michael fell in with such a bad crowd. It was all the fault of that greasy haired social worker. Mrs Nolan should have known better than to trust Michael with her. She had known straight away that the little slut was no better than she should be. But how could she have known that she would go so far as to expose Michael to such undesirables ? Immigrants, probably, who had never done an honest day's work in their lives.

Poor Michael couldn't be blamed for picking up their strange ways.

Not that it matters. The Nolans still love their son, and after some initial unpleasantness they have found a way of handling the situation. The soup kitchen really was the perfect solution, and what with one thing and another Michael seems to have settled into his new routine. It isn't easy, but it is neccessary.

After all, no mother can be expected to see her son going hungry.